Saturday, May 30, 2009

I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking

I have always loved The Thinker and have had this little statue for many years. Here is a photo I took eons ago, when I had a big clunky television. Of course I couldn't just sit The Thinker on there all by his lonesome, so I designed this enormous artificial flower arrangement to frame him. I added the little crystal clock for balance and function. Click the photo, if you want a detailed look.

Now The Thinker resides in a curio cabinet in my bedroom and is one of the first things I see everyday. Over the years I think (LOL) he has reminded me to think before I open my big mouth. Sometimes I do forget though and say or do something without thinking it through, but I'm getting better! So, it's a great thing to have around. It seems like everyone else in "Lincolnland" has a bust of Lincoln, but I have The Thinker!

In "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" The Thinker is one of the exhibits that comes to life. One of the things he does is demonstrates how he thinks by saying "I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" That pretty much sums up how I've have felt all week. The Thinker depicts a man in sober meditation battling with a powerful internal struggle. All this week's thinking has about drove me over the edge!

Sometimes I think too much or "over think." I don't mean to sound so cryptic, but something came up early in the week that has really bothered me. It's one of those things that no matter what you say, or how you say it, you will be perceived to be in the wrong. Well, I have been asked a question and must give an answer. And my answer will be thanks, but no thanks. I will be lucky, if I can pull this off without pissing someone off.

And since you're dying to know, I will tell you just a little bit more. It's more like I have been invited to something or take part in something. It is something I don't want to take part in and I do not want to hurt feelings by declining the invitation or offer. So, I have been thinking about it all week to the point that it has consumed me and made me a very unproductive person. That is why I haven't updated my blog in a week. And when I get like this, I get a bad headache lasting for days that nothing seems to help. I am just now getting over it and feeling somewhat back to normal!

Thanks to a couple of very good and wise friends that have helped me figure out not only what I must do, but also what I should say and what I shouldn't say. Of course, that is easier said than done. I haven't said or done anything yet! But at least I am done thinking (or should I say stewing) about it!

Have any of you ever had an awkward situation like this come up? How do you keep things from bothering you so much? I know it can't be healthy, so I am open to advice! Thanks.

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Rae said...

First off let me say "Yeah". I am so happy you returned. Missed you around here. I was worried you were sick or something.

Second -yes I have had those dilemmas that are all consuming. Makes your stomach sick, your heart twist, and your head ache. Sadly though, I am not like you. I am not afraid to piss people off - even my own family. This is a result of a difficult childhood that taught me to trash people as a means of self survival.
Doesn't make you very popular though.

I wish I could offer some practical advice. In my case, once a I make up my mind I move on. I just can't allow it to stalk me. Unfortunately I have burnt many bridges that way.

I guess once you settle this thing in your heart - your head will clear. Good Luck.

BTW - How do I set up that email thing you have on your blog so that I can receive emails?

John said...

Rae, thanks for your great comment! Just what I needed to hear too. Oh, I've burned some bridges along the way too and pissed off some in my family. But you learn from it. I have had other things come up too this week: computer problems, flat tire, and has been a long week! Time to get over it!

For email on your profile page... First decide what email acct you want blog readers to see, keeping in mind that when you use it may show your real name. I set up a gmail acct., which you can do from dashboard, click my account and then gmail and set it up. You will have to enter a first and last name, and that will show up in your emails. I'm sure lots of people want to be anonymous and make up something for a last name, I just used my blog name! Maybe you could use Piper as a lasat name, huh? You don't have to do gmail, any email acct will work.

At dashboard, click "edit profile" Under IDENTITY, enter the email address that you want to use as explained above. Scroll back up and under PRIVACY put a check mark in "show my email address." (to the right of that it will show what email for the profile is set to. You may have to save it first for it to show up, not sure. Scroll down and click save profile. Done!

If you want a mail widget on your main blog page, there's some neat ones at (and lots of other neat widgets, but they do make your page load a little slower).

I wish everyone would have an email link on their profile or blog! Anytime I can help you or anyone, I will be glad to do it. Believe me, I'm no expert though!

Anonymous said...

Over the years I think (LOL) he has reminded me to think before I open my big mouth. Wow, where can I buy one of those statues! If it will keep me from opening my big mouth, I'm in!

I know exactly what you mean when you wrote about being consumed by thought about a particular situation. That has happened to me more than I want to "think" about.

What I have found that works for me, however, is the written word. Instead of stewing it over in my mind, I put it in print, which helps me because I could walk away from it, get it out of my head. If I didn't feel as if the issue was resolved, I would go back and look at it again, and start writing again, revisiting my thoughts.

I started doing this when I was a kid and when I finally resolved whatever the issue was, I would tear up the paper--I didn't want to waste time "revisiting" it by reading it again.

Recently I started a private blog/journal to do just that. I use it for "quiet contemplation". This helps me to put into words my deeper feelings about issues such as religion-faith, prayer, or everyday frustrations. All the posts are marked "private", so the only people who can see them are those I invite. Of course, there really isn't anyone who would be interested, I just do that in order to keep trolls from visiting and to allow me the freedom to write freely without the interference of offending anyone else with my faith. I do this in journal/blog form because I can type as fast as I saves me from writers cramp.

I call the blog/journal "Cloistered Habit"...just like the cloistered nuns who are shut away from public view and spend their lives in quiet contemplation and prayer.

Oh, and one rule of thumb that I use to deal with situations where I'm asked to do something that I don't feel comfortable doing...I tell them quite frankly that I am not comfortable with being a part of that and although I hope they are not offended by this answer, it's the only one I have to give and continue to be true to myself. Anyone who is a real friend will understand. If they are not a real friend, their opinion of you shouldn't matter. If they are bigger than you and look angry about your decision...RUN! ;-)

John said...

Hey me414,
Thank you so much for the advice. I am going to start doing that! I really appreciate your comment more than you know.

travelingman said...

The key I have found John is to trust your instincts to do the right thing. Often times we tend to overthink things in life. For me I am often driven to the point of anxiety attacks when I have a particular moral dilemma.

It never fails that if you follow your heart and do what you think is right in the end you will be happy with the decision.

John said...

@travelingman, that is such good advice and I really appreciate it! I will definitely follow my heart, and let the chips fall where they may!

Hey, when you're in Paris and if you get the chance, would you take a picture of The Thinker statue? I can't wait to read your blog, while you're in France!

Thanks so much!

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