If I were Sheldon (on The Big Bang Theory)

It was just a few weeks ago, I wrote about somebody saying that I looked like Dave Matthews.

Well, now it seems like I have yet another look-a-like.

Last Wenesday I had to go to the DMV to renew my driver's license.

I had already been in there the previous Friday and was too late to take the written test, but I was allowed to go ahead and do the vision screening. Sandy--the nice lady working, said it would save me time for when I came back to take the written test. She hand wrote the vision screening results on my renewal letter.

So I went back last Wednesday and presented the letter and explained all of that . I did offer to take the vision screening again though, if there were any problem. Then I informed this different clerk that I arrived too late last Friday to take the written test. But that was okay, because I would rather study for it. I went on to explain that I couldn't return on Saturday, because I had to work and the DMV closed at noon.

I rambled on some more to let her know that I hated not having a valid drivers license, and that I had always had a valid license since I was sixteen years old. I also explained that because the DMV is closed Mondays, my license had expired and this was as soon as I could get here!" I had to find a ride to the DMV, and then I had walked quite a ways," I said. Then I told her I hoped I wouldn't be all sweaty and greasy faced in my picture! And finally I finished talking and told her I was just so glad to finally get this over with!

Well let me tell you...she started giggling so hard and bent over and was holding her stomach, as if she were in pain from laughing so much. Then she told me that I reminded her of Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory." While trying to keep a straight face, she asked me if I ever watched it and I replied that I had not. She then said, "well he's the older one that is always trying to be perfect!"

My eyes must've bugged out of my head when she said that, because she said "not that you act like him, you just look like him. You remind me of him, and I love that show!" We chatted a little more and she just kept repeating herself, as if to correct something she felt bad about saying! By then, I knew I must have sounded like such a dork!

When I got home I was curious about the show and found that it came on Monday nights on CBS. I taped the show and Ron and I watched it for the first time the other night. Oh my God, it was hilarious! Sheldon talked so fast and in language only a scientist could understand. He never once smiled either, and I am always smiling! So I didn't see any resemblance, except for our hair. I sure didn't dress like this guy either. I still took it as a compliment though, because this guy is half my age! In case you've never watched this show, let me tell you about Sheldon.

Sheldon is a bonafide geek, and then some. Like his flatmate and fellow physicist Leonard, Sheldon possesses scientific intelligence in abundance, but when it comes to common sense, he certainly drew the short straw. As a rule, he doesn't really get sarcasm. In fact, quite often Leonard has to help him out with it.

Sheldon attended boarding school as a result of his work with lasers, and not, as Leonard incorrectly assumes, following a series of experiments that set out to prove that, "If the height of a single step is off by as much as two millimetres most people will trip". Yes, Sheldon really does know how to party.

If you thought Sheldon was all about the physics though you'd be wrong. He's an avid fan of Battlestar Gallactica and a MySpace devotee (he's got 212 friends and everything). What's more, Sheldon loves to play a bit of Klingon Boggle with his friends, but hey, who doesn't? (source) By the way, you can watch clips of this comedy on cbs.com and download full episodes from itunes.

You cubicle dwellers will love this! I am no Sheldon, but if I were him, I would make the following announcement:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium." Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 199. These 199 particles are held together by a force called morons that are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less then a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." Scientists paid little attention to Administratium for many years. They were well aware of its existence, but were surprised to find it to be the heaviest element yet discovered. How does one recognize Administratium? You will know it when you see it.

I once did some temp work for Norwest Mortgage and over a thousand people worked there. That place had it's share of these elements! I'm sure Sheldon would agree.