Sunday, June 7, 2009

Stop the Torture!

It's not just waterboarding that has been used to torture prisoners. Question: What do the tunes of Eminem, Aerosmith, Tupac Shakur and Meat Loaf have in common? Answer: they have all been used to torture people.

This is just another "enhanced interrogation technique" that the former Cheney in Charge found useful. "Torture by music" has also been used before (remember Waco). Many people detained in the war on terror describe having music blasted at them 24 hours a day at great volume. They have even identified the songs. If you ask what the tunes of Aerosmith, Eminem, Don McLean, Bruce Springsteen, Tupac Shakur and Meat Loaf have in common with the theme tunes of the American children's television show Barney, there is only one answer: all have been used to torture people. (source)

I have a suggestion to update the torture music playlist. If you're lucky, you have not been tortured yourself by the commercial for "the cookie diet." First of all, the name of the diet does not even make sense. The commercial goes something like this: "Smart For Life - Eat Cookies. Lose Weight. It's That Simple™. Start the Smart for Life program when you order our ...blah blah blah."

Then the real torture begins. A bunch of bad actors start singing a little jingle that goes something like this, "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, I stole the cookie from the cookie jar!" Then more commercial, then the jingle gets repeated, and this goes on for what seems like eternity. I guess the purpose of a jingle is to make you remember it and it gets stuck in your head. It is one of the most annoying things ever on television!

If you have a spouse that feels the need to sing this little jingle every time they eat a cookie, do what I did. Tell him or her to stop it! The torture must end! It's bad enough hearing that all the time on tv! And plus, an Oreo doesn't count as part of the cookie diet!

Sine I realize that most of you probably don't watch as much tv as me, I did a quick google search for a version of the commercial. Not wanting to spend a lot of time at it, I settled on the YouTube video about "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar" that is actually fun to watch! The kids are adorable and better actors than the ones in the commercial.

This video is worth watching! They do not sing. It is a little skit!

Here is some information about this video as written by the kindergarten teacher (Elbadasso on YouTube) that made it.

First things first: if you know anyone in Korea could you forward the link to them? I'd love if it ended up in the inboxes of the kids from the video.

As for the kids, when I was in Korea, I taught kindergarten. These are the kids I taught in the peter rabbit class. Oh, and before any one asks, Sherry (the queen) is saying "kiss my hand" not "kiss my ass." Her pronunciation is just a little strained. Also, the guy eating the cookie, in case you haven't guessed, is me (El badasso on YouTube). Though I'm a lot less blond now. The kids liked that. Blond hair in korea is like being a movie star or something.

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3 comments:

Rae said...

John,
I didn't even watch the video. Just reading it has got the damn jingle stuck in a loop in my brain.
Thanks for the torture buddy.LOL
RAE

Pwn Star said...

I've always considered "Karma Chameleon" quite torture-worthy.

I must inform Cheney.

:)

John said...

@Rae, you must watch that little video! The kids worked hard on. I think it should go viral like Susan Boyle's!

@Pwn Star, Oh yeah, that's a good song to add to the torture song playlist!

I wonder if anyone else has any songs they want added!

Thanks for the comments, Ladies!

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